


No one could look as good as you

by Bluespirit



Series: Movie Night [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluespirit/pseuds/Bluespirit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lightning can't strike three times... can it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No one could look as good as you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the fabulous Xanthe for the beta.

Rodney glanced around uncomfortably. People were staring at him; he could feel it. He pulled the long coat more tightly shut, desperately glad that John had slipped it around his shoulders when they’d left the hotel. It just about covered the stupid black pleather pants and practically transparent mesh tee shirt that Radek had convinced him would help him to pick up more tricks. He felt like a freak. Who was he kidding? He was a freak.

“What’s the matter?” John put an arm around his waist as they walked along the sidewalk in the afternoon sunshine. “I thought you’d enjoy this. In fact, I was kinda surprised that you didn’t get more stuff yesterday.”

Rodney thought back to the previous day and the utter horror of shopping – or trying to shop – in the ritzy boutiques on Rodeo Drive, and the condescending and hateful looks the assistants had given him. “It wasn’t as much fun as I thought it was going to be,” he said unhappily.

John lifted an eyebrow.

“They were mean to me.” Rodney snapped his mouth shut. He hadn’t meant to say that part out loud.

John stopped walking and turned Rodney to face him. “They were mean to you?” His voice was soft but without its usual easygoing smile.

Rodney nodded and stared miserably at the floor - and his cheap plastic boots with the safety pin holding up the zipper and the sharpie-covered scuffmarks. “I suppose it was funny – I had all that cash that you’d given me but nobody wanted to let me buy anything.” He felt John’s fingers under his chin gently guiding him to look up.

John didn’t look like he thought it was funny – in fact, he looked kind of mad.

“They didn’t want to serve me,” Rodney sighed.

John looked at him steadily and then pulled him close and gave him a brief but firm kiss. “Come on,” he smiled. “It looks like we’ve got some lost time to make up for.” He grabbed Rodney’s hand and started leading him towards a fancy looking clothing store.

“They won’t like me,” Rodney muttered, dawdling behind unhappily.

John turned and gave him a cocky grin. “Stores don’t like people – they like credit cards.” He winked and pulled Rodney through the door.

It was a really high-end boutique with the kind of designer labels that Rodney had only ever seen in glossy magazines. There were deep leather couches and deferentially hovering assistants at every turn. God, you could fit the whole of The Blue Banana into just one corner of this place.

John held onto Rodney’s hand and waved an assistant over. “I’d like to see the manager.”

The assistant nodded obsequiously and hurried away.

Rodney fidgeted miserably.

“Just relax,” John said and squeezed Rodney’s hand.

An older man in a sober suit approached them. “Hello? I’m Mister Woolsey – the store manager. How may I help you?”

“Ah, Mister Woolsey.” John smiled affably and held out a hand. “John Sheppard – pleased to meet you.” He wrapped an arm around Rodney’s shoulders and pulled him in close. “You see this amazing man here – do you have anything in this store as beautiful as he is?”

“Why yes,” Woolsey said quickly and then stammered. “Ah, no – what I mean to say is that we have many things that are as beautiful as he would wish them to be.” He nodded ingratiatingly. “That is the point that I was making, and I think we may all agree with that.”

John grinned wolfishly. “Oh, I think we’re going to get along famously, Mister Woolsey. Now I have to go to a business meeting in a little while, but I’ll be leaving Rodney here with my Amex card.”

The Dollar signs virtually popped into Woolsey’s eyes, and he smiled broadly. “And we’ll help him to use it!”

~

 

“Oh, dear God – no!” Rodney shouted, sitting up abruptly in bed and clutching the covers to his chest.

He looked around frantically and sagged with relief as he saw the familiar surroundings of his quarters. He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his chest – he was wearing one of John’s old USAF tee shirts and there wasn’t a trace of transparent mesh or fake leather in sight. Thank God….

He looked accusingly over at the laptop on the desk - the ‘Pretty Woman’ dvd box still tossed carelessly next to it – and then flopped back down with a pitiful moan. “Just kill me now someone… please….”

Next to him, John snuffled and snuggled in closer, wrapping an arm around Rodney’s waist and burying his face into Rodney’s neck. “’M a safety girl,” he mumbled, still asleep.

Rodney smothered a laugh and smiled fondly. “Yes - yes, you are, Colonel.” He dropped a kiss to the top of John’s head and settled back down to sleep. “But I absolutely mean it this time – you are never, never – never – choosing the movie for ‘movie night’ again, okay?”

John just sighed contentedly and started to snore.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Rodney's ~~nightmare~~ dream is obviously based on 'Pretty Woman', and I've paraphrased some of the movie dialogue for my own nefarious purposes. *g*
> 
> Title taken from 'Pretty Woman' by Roy Orbison.
> 
> Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction & is meant solely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.


End file.
